A touch of Chumley

Today, I paid homage to the talents of a great man, my former English teacher, Jason Chumley.

When he was a younger man (16 I think), he travelled on his own to Greece and lived off of a pittance by mastering the art of taking food from other people's plates. He would sit down at a cafe and purchase something very cheap, like tea or coffee. He would then sit around, perhaps reading a novel, and people would come and go, eating their meals at the cafe. As these people would finish, Chumley would ask, "Are you done with that roll?" or "Have you finished your salad?" And after a time, he would have accrued enough food to make a meal. He would then return to the Greek life, well fed and without having to wash dishes for a meal.

Polish food courts at malls are like small grottos where actual sit down resturants cater to customers that sit in a shared sitting area. Food is of good quality (Even pizza hut looks like an upscale dining facility), and is served on real plates with silverware by waiters. I sat down in this grotto with my copy of Salman Rushdie's "Satanic Verses" and waited for people to eat. As a couple near me finished, they got up to leave, and I asked whether I could have a piece of pita that had been left on the plate. They didn't understand English, but after some sign language, I got my hands on the baked wheat goodness. After that, I didn't even ask. As people left, I would subtly sneak to their platesand remove articles of food that had not been touched. It was wonderful. I had a full meal in no time, and the food I ate was all excellent.

As I gorged myself on other's unfinished courses, I thought back to some of the stories that Chumley had passed on to my English class. I must say, this adventurer owes a lot to the tales of a real estate baron English teacher.