1000 & 1 Places to Pee on Before You Die

"The last evening in Poznan", the title of the spectacular independent film, coming at the end of the summer 2009, and I am spending my time trying to give away all of my stuff so that my baggage will conform to Ryanair's hellish demands. Our sponsor from the states, Stefan, who has been with us for the past few days, says that people were literally crying when he was taking a Ryanair flight to Poznan. Can't wait. I've planned much less for this lag of the journey than I did for France; I'm just too tired. I'll probably wake up early and try to write down at least the directions to the bus station in Zadar before I walk out into the great unknown, but for the most part, I'm acting almost like I'm going to be winging things, which would usually have me frightened, but I'm so tired from working my butt off for the past three days that my level of personal apathy has risen to unprecedented heights.

Our final week in the lab has been representative of our time here in some ways and in others, this last week has become a kind of farce that has me quite frustrated. I mean, you spend three weeks telling me that you just want to relax and take it easy after the grad student leaves because there's only so much that can be done. You barely come in to work, saying that not everyone needs to be there, and then leaving. You speak condescendingly to me while you are there, but I go along with it because I'm exhausted and I just don't care. And then, all of a sudden, someone who matters shows up, and now, for the last three days, you ensure that all of the projects are yours, you are giving arbitrary directions for the sake of getting face time, and you have suddenly become the most dedicated worker in the lab. Would that not frustrate anyone just a bit?

But I am feeling better about this now, after some good feedback. We've done well and I might have an opportunity to come back, the best of all possible outcomes. It will be nice to have a break from the lab group (Though, honestly, I didn't spend a whole lot of my free time with them, so my parting is not as sweet as it will be when JP and Jonathan return to their respective routines, devoid of each other's company), but don't get me wrong; for the most part, I have enjoyed our moments together; the handshakes and hugs sure to come at the entrance to the S-Bhan in Frankfurt are sure to be a bittersweet thing.

I am sure to get over it though; Croatia, and beaches that face the sunset, await me in less than three days.

It is a sad thing to be leaving Poland, but I go with the knowledge that I have had my fill of the Ziwiec glass, made Hanna ecstatic by urinating on the Palace of Culture in Warszawa, done a plank off in the laser room on the hottest day of the summer thus far, gotten laughed at in the Stary Browar food court for pulling out two bags of frozen plums and tucking in, gotten anxious questions from Poles about whether or not all Americans are obsessed with frozen fruit (I assured them that, in this respect, my behavior is strange in all lands on this green earth), eaten so much I nearly wept with pain (10 apples and a whole chicken breast in the space of 2 hours), spent long hours of the night listening to the whine of hundreds of police cars and ambulans passing directly under my window, learned Polish from Rosetta Stone and drunk guys in equal amounts, danced to lady GaGa in the halls, witnessed a horde of Spaniards (Who are apparently SO cool) douse an entire corridor with the fire extinguisher during a hallway disco at the Jowita at 5 in the morning, explained to the masses of firemen who showed up that I didn't live on that floor, kept my alcohol consumption to a minimum but trying the mulled wine from Germany, eaten so much Polish food that I have the palate memorized for future culinary enterprises, sat on the banks of one of the largest natural lakes in Poznan and watched the sunset, and listened to Joe Dassin with my hallmates, all of us recalling our first time travelling down Les Champs Elysses.

It has been one of the most wonderful periods of my life and has offered much in the way of bolstered courage. I am grateful for the positive feedback that I have received about my portrayal of the American people while here, and I hope that my friends don't take too much stock in Bruno (Well, not them actually; I know they are a bit brighter than that.).

And so, with my last opportunity to give you all a glimpse into the wonderful world of Poland before I start telling you how great fresh fish is while you're herding sheep, I will share with you one thing: if someone is wearing a Poznan Lech scarf, tell them that Poznan Lech is very dear to your heart, and never mention Warszawa. Not even in passing.

Thanks to everyone who supported me with comments and feedback; I truly appreciate it and I hope that you are interested in more than just Poland, for I can find adventure anywhere, even if it is only a dark alley where I can relieve myself.

Croatia Ho!